Secretly
by Roseblade22
Summary: She was a Hunter: An eager explorer selected to embark on one of the expeditions to the Dark Continent. She never expected to fall in love with one of the strangely beautiful, vaguely human creatures she discovered there. The child was the unfortunate consequence of their union, her gravest mistake, and her most precious secret…so she named him "Hisoka." A theoretical one-shot.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Hunter x Hunter.

**Author's Note:** A few things I want my lovely readers to be aware of before beginning to read: I've been writing fanfiction for over ten years, but this is the first time I have decided to delve into Hunter x Hunter fanfiction, so if you're reading this, thanks ever so much for checking me out. Anyway, in this vignette, Hisoka's mother – the main character – is anonymous. Her name is not mentioned, and I meant for it to be that way. In fact, the only name that's ever mentioned is Hisoka's. I wrote this in the dead of night, with absolutely no sleep. As a result, it's kind of a strange tale; I only think that it will appeal to certain people. Oh well. Finally, any reviews, thoughts, or constructive criticisms are always encouraged. Please let me know what you think!

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**SECRETLY**

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She had never asked for this to happen.

She never expected to be chosen in the first place – to be one of the lucky few hunters selected to set sail and explore the mysterious, perilous Dark Continent. It was to be the 13th expedition, and she simply couldn't refuse such a golden opportunity. To see a nearly untouched, unexplored world beyond that which she already had explored – it was a possibility that any hunter would dream of.

And it was her reality.

And at first, the unknown land yielded an endless succession of adventure, excitement, and exploration. Fantastical new creatures, ancient runes, and crumbling remnants of alien civilizations from centuries ago were everywhere.

And then one day, she met _him_.

It was difficult to classify him. The notes from previous expeditions had listed human-type beings among the list of otherworldly creatures that inhabited the Dark Continent. She was never sure if he was human or not. He possessed a strange, almost ethereal beauty that utterly enchanted her. He spoke an indecipherable language, he was most certainly magical, and he could have been deadly. But she took a risk and approached him. She wanted – no, _needed_ - to know more about him, his people, and his world. Remarkably, he seemed friendly, and just as interested in her as she was in him. They spent hours together every day, enthusiastically pantomiming and sketching images in the dirt with twigs. She called him many names, but none seemed to suit him perfectly. He called her something she couldn't pronounce, but when he said it she felt the warmth behind the word. What began as an objective mission to learn as much as she could from a native of the Dark Continent gradually developed into something more.

Love was an unpredictable predator. It attacked her stealthily, covertly sinking it's fangs into her unsuspecting heart, and poisoned her in a slow seduction.

Soon, she was inescapably in love with her native companion.

And he most ardently reciprocated.

For a few blissful days, their love was all they needed. They conducted it in secret, a great and wonderful symphony of their minds, bodies, and everything in between.

But slowly, the darkness of the land began to reveal itself. Some of her comrades started disappearing, and the others were blaming it on the indigenous population of humanoids. Tensions among the two groups were rising. Neither side knew anything of her native love or her clandestine liaisons with her lover. But he should have known she couldn't keep a secret that shone so brightly in both their faces for long. When the others found out, her fragile dreams of happiness crumbled to dust.

They were ripped apart, gasping and screaming for one another, without ever even knowing one another's real name.

Her people imprisoned her and called her words like "traitor" and "whore." Some even threatened to kill her.

His people declared war upon the foreign invaders. There were many bloody battles and even more deaths. Carnage followed the expedition everywhere.

Even nature itself seemed to turn on the remaining hunters. A plague that spread amongst their ranks rapidly, transforming virile, strong individuals into shrivelled, hollow-eyes monsters – but they never died. They called it "the immortal sickness." Soon there were so few left that they couldn't hope to defend themselves against the indigenous population. The rest of the hunters had no other choice than to escape back to the mainland.

She almost wished they had left her behind. But they were intent on punishing her, and so they took her along, to face an official judgement for her "crime." When the time came for her to testify at her trial, she refused to speak. Her silence spoke louder than words. Her secret love was all she had left – her most precious possession – and she wouldn't share it with anyone. Instead, she kept it buried deep inside her, and soon she noticed that it had rooted itself in her belly and was beginning to bulge.

She was careful to hide it.

Without her admission of guilt and without much concrete evidence of her treachery, the tribunal found themselves unable to recommend any kind of disciplinary action besides the retraction of her hunter license. She was freed into a world that seemed much more foreign and cruel than the one she remembered, in which she was no longer welcome.

She wandered and waited. She wondered what might have happened if she'd never been selected to explore the Dark Continent. She thought of her lover often. Was he even alive? Did he remember her as fondly as she did him? Would he give anything to be with her again?

All those questions were pointless, she knew. But they haunted her anyway.

Months later, she was destitute, and her stomach was full and round. She found herself in Meteor City, the city of the unwanted. It was easier to scrape by here, where the fabulously rich and wealthy poured their undesirables onto the ground and the indigent scampered amongst the piles of debris like roaches in the dark. It was here, hidden among the piles of trash and human excess, that her secret ripped itself violently from her while she screamed.

Finally, it was done, and she was able see her secret in the flesh. She cradled him gently in her arms and marvelled with widened, tender eyes. The baby boy was just as beautiful as his father was. But she realized now that she'd carried him within her too long, and that he'd taken half of her insides with him as he'd escaped from her womb. She was feeling weakened, feverish.

Undoubtedly, she would die.

A fleeting twinge of panic gripped her as she glanced down at her child again. The new born blinked up at her without crying; his eyes sharply reflecting a sense of curiousness and calm far beyond what was typical of one so young. It was at that moment she realized that even without her, he would be alright.

Perhaps it was best this way. It was finally time for her to atone for all of her transgressions, real and imaginary. This birth was the unfortunate consequence of her doomed love, her gravest mistake, her downfall and death. Even so, the love she felt for the child was tender and real. Death was the best way to ensure forever that her precious secret would remain safe.

She dipped her head, delicately brushing her cold lips against her son's forehead, and with her dying breath whispered the name she had chosen for him softly in his ear.

"Hisoka…"

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**Thanks for reading! **

And now that you have, I can elaborate a little bit on why I wrote this story. I was trying to figure out exactly where Hisoka got his "magic" from. Many of his tricks can be attributed to clever Nen use and illusion, but others can't. I was thinking about how magical creatures and other fantastical things originated from the Dark Continent, and that there were other types of humans that lived there...and I began to wonder: What if Hisoka isn't entirely human? Or at the very least, not human in the sense that we understand it? The story grew out of that idea. It's strictly theoretical; I'm not trying to prove my idea is real. I don't even think it is! I just thought it would be fun to explore in writing. Thanks again!

**~Rose**


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